weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
