Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
