I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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