East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she looked like the before picture.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
