Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
