We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
