please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
