I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We need to rekindle our bromance
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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