Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
