We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
