You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
