just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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