I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
