Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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