i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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