If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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