An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
