i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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