I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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