you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
