He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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