My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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