Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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