I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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