out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
