Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
