I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
