Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize