So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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