we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
