i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize