Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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