Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
