Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
