my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
