so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
