i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
