Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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