their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
