Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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