Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
