My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The feeling are messing with the penis
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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