the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was confusing and full of hummus
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
