What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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