My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
