Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
