And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
