Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
