So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
