Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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