"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Life is so much better after having sex.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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