Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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