Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
