I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
