Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
