I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
