Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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