Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
