If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
