I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
