I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
