In the future we'll all be gay
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
