My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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