ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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