Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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