so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
