ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
